As long as you're at her beck and call answering all her calls, etc the longer she'll play this . If you do that, he will be able to concentrate and solve whatever's bothering him, and it makes him much much much more likely to want to come back to you once he's figured things out. Without asking much about her, a woman who likes you will tell you about her background, family, deepest secrets, and feelings. When She Says She Needs Space: 5 Tips on what to do next Tip #1 - Plan things to do alone or with other people and enjoy them. "I dunno," and "It means she's having an affair" are two of the dumbest answers ever.Actually, you need to get new guy friends, and ask your female friends why they weren't being honest with you. The phrase "I need some space" might simply mean that you are too available, and need to present a challenge again. In fact, the absolute best thing to do when he says he needs space is to believe him, and let him have the space he's looking for. If your girlfriend wants you to give her space, it might just be because she wants space. The space will give her breathing room and reduce excessive co-dependency in the relationship. You'll have a general sense of when it (contacting her) is most likely to happen, when you know it's not a good time because you're closing the space needed. Dude, first of all, you need to make some new friends. If her attraction was 0 or even 3, she'd just flat our dump you. Show her you don't need her in your life. She won't necessarily come back because of nostalgia alone, but no contact could help your ex stop feeling smothered, angry, annoyed, cold, or even vengeful. She won't let herself slip up, won't give into those moments of weakness when all she wants to do is hear your voice, see your smile. Some of her furniture is being stored in the main room, unusable due to a lack of space, and is taking up a lot of space. How long to give her depends on your relationship. Giving 3 to 7 days of space after a break up is usually more than enough to let her see that you are respecting her wishes and aren't desperately trying to force her into a relationship with you again. I've used this example before. I can only speculate what her issues are since she claims to not know herself. Allows a breathing room. Tweet. Once she gets enough space she might start wondering about you and her feelings might come back. Yes, you can. The fact she's still calling you tells me she was just testing you, so as long as you keep replying to her the longer she thinks she can play this game. To have any chance at getting her back you have to get her attracted to you again and to do that you need to give her space.) Show her you don't need her in your life. Contents. If she wanted more attention, give it to her. She's in control of the see-saw. Examples of bad behavior include: She gives you unnecessary attitude She complains non-stop She cancels plans or always arrives late She takes hours to respond to text messages Just to trust her and give her space and let her come to me. Each of these mistakes is described fully below. By far, the best option you have is a pre-emptive strike. I'm giving her her space. Almost guaranteed, she's been sleeping with somebody else. They may not want to look bad to the rest of the family. That practice ends in feeling helpless and hopeless. Orange1. Just when your relationship is seeing bad times, the last thing your girlfriend wants is over-insistence. reply. Start focusing more on yourself and think on where the problem lies. And think about what she really wants out of the relationship. Therefore, you need to make communication comfortable for her. Before worrying that the relationship . So my advice for you when you hear anything like "I need space", "I feel caged", "I feel like you're smothering me", is to let gotake a deep breath and back off. Be patient and persistent. Thinking there are no more rules. When a woman says she "needs space," and it's out of the blue, then she's probably been cheating on you. This is crazy, I know. 4) You allow bad behavior A mistake many men make is letting their girlfriend get away with bad behavior. If you are constantly joint at the hip, the relationship might become too smothering after a while. She wants you to be real with her. Putting your life on hold. Silence and distance can undo the damage of over pursuit and chasing. There is absolutely no way to build a relationship without interaction. Another common reason why a woman says she needs space but still loves you is because 3. She won't necessarily come back because of nostalgia alone, but no contact could help your ex stop feeling smothered, angry, annoyed, cold, or even vengeful. "If you are just dating casually, on the verge of a making a commitment, and 'space' means being away with no contact for undetermined periods of days/weeks, and this is something you do not enjoy,. To support her through each bump in the road. 5. We had some fights that led for her asking space. She's in control of the see-saw. The feelings will pass if you're honest and upfront with yourself. I also needed him to understand that without thinking I was breaking up with him. She has since come around because we have been working on his approach. You meet an enchanting woman, and you want to impress her, so you become your best self. But relying on her, or any other human being, to . The power of no contact could do its job as it could help your ex disassociate negative thoughts and emotions from you and help her feel nostalgic at times. Here are a few of those good reasons to give her the space she wants: Distance . A lot of space - less time. You'd be hard pressed to find a man who recently wed who will say that he doesn't believe his marriage will last. Having a rebound relationship. If she asks, you decide. I needed space. Junior Member. All the while I received encouraging words that I was still great and left a big impression and that I am a lot of what she wants. Understand it's okay. The only way to find out is to ask, so you did the right thing by doing so. Give her space and do not contact her the entire time. She shares personal information. Giving space is a neutral behavior. The fact she's still calling you tells me she was just testing you, so as long as you keep replying to her the longer she thinks she can play this game. Respecting Her Wish. Giving space doesn't hurt or help with reconciling. There are many good reasons to bite the bullet and give her the space she's asking for. She told me that she still loves me but she is confused maybe bcoz of her stressful work and i think her family is giving her a hard time. The problem you're having now is that you believe the certainty you want lies in her hands. When your girlfriend says she needs space, it can be difficult not to immediately think about the worst-case scenario. It's as easy and simple as that. That's the key. So now it's been about 24 hrs and true to my word, I haven't contacted her. ; 8 How do I keep her interested? In order for a woman to feel strong feelings of sexual attraction for you, chase you and pursue you, you must let her come to you at her own pace. It's less than 50%, enough to not want to be with you. She's trying to create some distance between you and her before she fully breaks up with you Sometimes a woman is unsure about how to break up with a guy in a way that will be easy for the both of them. The time depends on how much space you offer her point forward. Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. As much as it might sound that way. Women tell their friends almost everything; their future plans, something crazy that happened over the weekend or if they have a love interest. Get your stuff from her place, only contact her to arrange getting your stuff, and go NO CONTACT from then on until she reaches out. This is the most effective way to make her miss you. ; 9 How do you tease a girl . Give Them Space. If she likes you she won't keep it to herself for long. Again - distract yourself. You asked your wife if she is having an affair, but she said she isn't. Most people who are having affairs do not admit their affairs for a number of reasons. Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com.She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills, and helps rebuild relationships.Want deeper clarity like a coaching session and know exactly what to do when she . She wants space, you and many are talking about time. This will make you two more fulfilled as a team. ; 2 What to text a girl to show you care? As always, I am here to help if you need one on one guidance! If your friend is vague or doesn't tell you why she needs distance, you have no alternative but to step back. The seven most common mistakes after no contact are: Panicking. the reason for the break up, or why you can't be together) Women often don't know why they lose attraction, and justify it with reasons that have nothing to do with the real culprit. But above all else, she wants you to stand beside her. Whatever frame of mind your girlfriend is likely to swing towards, you need to consider the possible repercussions of denying her the opportunity to take a break, by constantly insisting that she change her mind. If she tells you she needs space, or continues to "be busy" every time you try to make plans, then it's probably time to move on. Because the truth is, women rarely leave a relationship without a backup plan. But understanding what she means by "needing space" can make the difference between a rough patch in your relationship and a permanent breakup. If you can't give her space, even for a few days, then you show her you have no self control. The more and more their ex girlfriend pulls away from them, the more these guys start to over-pursue and get more desperate. However, make sure the "space" you give her is on your terms, not hers. Back to withdrawing from me. I know, I know. If she says she wants space, stay away. I told her I'd wait for her and wouldn't contact her unless she got hold of me first, but that I was always there for her and I respect that she wants space. by Rick 34 Comments. About a Woman's Trust For the wife who has been sadly and quietly planning her departure, there is almost nothing you can say or do that will impress her or change her mind. Your feelings for your girl are so overwhelming, so powerful, so beautiful. To be clear, just because your friend didn't want to date, you don't mean that there's something wrong with you. It doesn't really damage your chance of reconciling; it just doesn't do anything to build your relationship. If she can be strong enough to tell you that she can't date you, she should be strong enough to hear that you can't be her friend, especially if your reasons for not being friends are noble and honest. Most likely, she was being honest and needs some time and space. Because unless they're tree-stump stupid, they know exactly what your girlfriend meant by that. Consequently, the only way that you will ascertain whether the relationship is over is by giving her exactly what she wants -- SPACE. Pay close attention and ensure you ask her politely. 1 When A Girl Says She Needs Time To Figure Things Out, She May Be Having Doubts About Your Relationship. Becoming friends. Physics speaks of space-time. So, when your ex girlfriend says she needs space, it means that something needs to change in your approach. When she fights with someone else, you need to advocate for her. Stare deeply into her eyes, hold her tightly against your body, and kiss her like you mean it. Another point that should be considered is that when a girl asks for space in a relationship, there is obviously something missing in it. 1 What should I text a girl to get her interested again? Why You Should Give Her Space to Miss You. She is done with. Aug 10, 2008, 09:32 PM. Her heart is begging her to take a leap, to send you a simple hello and see where things go from there, but her brain is never going to let that happen. In reality, you have no control over his feelings/thoughts. To encourage her. Don't bother her. A man should never chase his girlfriend to get her back. Contents. I'm aware that you may email AskMen and . When my now-husband and I were dating, I felt absolutely smothered. People interpret this term of wanting more space in a lot of different ways, it means something unique to each of us. It's amazing how many men don't get this. Don't reiterate that it's her idea, but instead, let her know that you're willing to give her the space she needs but is there for her whenever she needs you. [13] Avoid repeating any mistakes you made before. Option 3: Refusing The Break: Telling Your Girlfriend To Take a Walk. The only thing that can melt her momentary resistance to you is showing your love. Be prepared for at least 3-4 weeks of zero contact with her, and trust that you're doing your relationship a favor by doing so. I believe a similar concept is at play here. Here are 8 powerful signs she wants you to chase her: 1. A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): hey man, my girlfriend of 3 and a half years took the BREAK just 10 minutes ago..and the reason was over=protection and being the "hardman"..snapping at guys looking at her and apperntly bein a controller im only 18 but i love her more than anything in the world..honestly..i tried askin for chances but it dont work that way..let her be..but dont . The day a man marries he's doing so with a full heart and the very best intentions. Instead of fighting her on wanting to walk away, or agreeing to some time off, the best thing you can do right now is simple: break things off completely. The problem you're having now is that you believe the certainty you want lies in her hands. 3. 2. I don't want her to be homeless, but if she's going to stay in her room and game and use the internet all day . If your wife is determined to truly refuse all contact with you for the rest of her life, then there's nothing you can do about that. 9. Usually when they want time and space, they want out. It might not be at a 0 right now. ; 7 How do you make a girl happy over text? But that I should keep living my life. Dude, first of all, you need to make some new friends. Yes, you can. Without asking much about her, a woman who likes you will tell you about her background, family, deepest secrets, and feelings. She says she wants space, so take what she says at face value and give her the space that she needs. I could (obviously). That's the key. When your girlfriend needs space, do something that you've wanted to do with friends or family. If she wants space, you should give her a bit of space before contacting her again. Reconnect with friends, try a new sport, work a little later, or do anything that will make you happy. Women like a strong man, so you better find some strength. It's Healthy. In your case, she seeks space, and so you must create space and allow her to come on her own. Last night i called her to see how she was..She told me on the phone that She has made her decision and She doesn't want to be with me anymore She says she doesnt want me to think that things will get better as soon as she comes back from her mums and she says she doesnt want to give me false hopes Gives her a chance to miss you. The first thing that you should do if your girlfriend wants space is to listen to her. For some people, it means just a few days of no contact. Whatever it was, just do your best to be a great partner for her. ; 4 What do you text someone who wants space? No matter what she's saying right now, your girlfriend still loves and cares for you enough to want to still keep you in her . However, don't wait too long to contact her. ; 3 How do you give a girl space without losing her? Reason #3: Wife wants to separate due to an affair. She wants to text you. Their girlfriend breaks up with them and they suddenly go into "chase mode.". When she's up against someone else. People just don't take the walk down the aisle or make the . Furthermore, it can alter her perception of you to one that is more favorable if she started to view you as a man who is needy, clingy or weak. Don't call her. 9. Parents divorce when she was young, issues with people close to her that have died, fear of leaving the nest and abandoning her family who are not doing well financially (even though I assure her that we would do everything in our power to help them), believes people are disingenuous, fear of my failing financially . Enjoy your time with her, treat her with respect, and let the relationship grow over time. Let her come back to you on her own terms. She said she wanted some space to get in touch with herself because she'd lost that when we were in the relationship. (i.e. She shares personal information. It's really important when your girlfriend tells you that she needs space, that you are crystal clear about what she means by "getting space". You have to make sure you take time and avoid being compliant in order to steer clear from rushing things. Talk To A Therapist. You pull out all the stops in bed, you act like you're interested in every single detail of her emotional . But with three kids, two careers and a busy household, it's a catch-as-catch-can affair. As long as you're at her beck and call answering all her calls, etc the longer she'll play this . But relying on her, or any other human being, to . At this point I'd pretty much do anything to show her how much she means . 5. If you really love her, stop thinking about what YOU want for a moment. The power of no contact could do its job as it could help your ex disassociate negative thoughts and emotions from you and help her feel nostalgic at times. Of course, in some instances, an apology might be beneficial. If you can't do what she asks, then you are showing you don't respect her feelings and what she wants. When an ex needs space, you're going to have to allow for it, because you'll only be able to communicate and show him or her how you've improved later on. Book A Private Coaching Session Here! How Long Should I Give My Wife Space: How Much Space Should I Give My Wife. Coming on too strongly will only make . We talk 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there, while I'm making dinner or she's blow-drying her hair, getting . The no contact rule has one major flaw. Back to the space. She likes the chase you see, and I made myself very readily available to her. Let her know that you'll give her the space she needs but want her to call or text you whenever she wants. My gf of 5 yrs asked for a space. The reasons for this is obvious: as a codependent, you struggle to . Take is one day at the time. When a friend gives you the cold shoulder and asks for space, it may or may not have anything to do with you, per se. No change in the space you offer - lots of time (possibly for ever). I don't call her and haven't asked her why she hasn't contacted me. Pay close attention and ensure you ask her politely. 1. Don't convince yourself that you're giving them space when you're still texting or calling them. Demanding answers. And this guy now takes precedence over you. If she never lets herself see you again, if she ignores your emails and texts and blocks you from as many modes of communication as possible, then that's her choice and there's very little you can do to change it. Hang out with guys who have a successful relationship. You have to wait until she contacts you to even talk to her again. Since women are emotional beings and not mostly visual creatures like men are, you must give them the space, time and freedom for their . We broke up over 3 months ago. 1.1 1: You Put Too Much Pressure On Her (You Were Too Needy); 1.2 2: Your Relationship Is New And Is Moving Faster Than She's Comfortable With ; 1.3 3: She's Going Through A Stressful Period In Her Life / Your Relationship Is On The Rocks; 1.4 It's Also Possible She Has An . Gf wants space and is confused of what she wants. Because unless they're tree-stump stupid, they know exactly what your girlfriend meant by that. Answer (1 of 153): I wish I had seen this question when it was first posted. You don't sit around and wait for her and you don't call her. If she's not willing to work things out between you two, especially about spending time together (something BOTH of you should want to do), then let her take the time but importantly, YOU should take the time and give yourself a good "think" on the situation. I was fine with her living here short-term, but we're coming up on a year and she's right back where she started. It's so hard to do but you need to stay calm. Wife will be coming back from her mums on friday. Your girlfriend wants time apart instead of a break because, in the most simple of terms, she doesn't want to lose you completely. This is the time to show how well you can hold yourself and that you can genuinely give them the space they need. If you do not give her space, you will just push her away. This is one of the biggest mistakes that men make and it happens to about 90% of guys. 7 years ago. Travel somewhere for a quick getaway weekend and explore the city. One of the main signs she wants you to chase her is the sharing of personal information. She needs to feel that you're going to be fine even if she's still searching for her identity and wellbeing. Just be cool and calm and let her enjoy her time also. She tells her friends about you. If she wanted more time to hang out with her friends, let her. One of the main signs she wants you to chase her is the sharing of personal information. If she asked for space after a serious argument or a difficult breakup, it might be a good idea to wait for her to contact you, advises professional counselor and dating coach Yangki Christine Akiteng on her website, "Ask the Love Doctor." ; 5 What make a girl fall for you? 2. He was wonderful. "I dunno," and "It means she's having an affair" are two of the dumbest answers ever.Actually, you need to get new guy friends, and ask your female friends why they weren't being honest with you. via: Unsplash / Ali Yahya. We all have intuition. If her attraction to you is normally at a 7 or 8, it's probably dropped to a 4 or 5. Girlfriend Wants Space Should I Text Her, Girlfriend Wants Space Should I Text Her You're vulnerable, waiting to hear from him "CD Baby has always been so good to me, from the very beginning of my career I want my girl back to fall in love with me By demanding an answer for their confusing actions, you show them that you are not moving on and that you are still strongly affected by what they . She refuses to text you, because . One of the most important lessons I teach people is this: you need to give her some space. It's that "gut feeling" you get in certain situations. Setting a deadline. Key #1: Take the "reasons" she gives you with a grain of salt. You want to spend every waking minute with her. Your coach in needing space, Apollonia Ponti. Your Intuition Tells You She's "Slipping Away". Make yourself busy during this time. It's a very simple lesson, yet incredibly difficult to follow if you're in a codependent relationship. This means that she still has feelings for you, and that your relationship still matters. In the present moment, it's best to keep a low profile. She's either fed up with your behavior or is experiencing conflicting emotions. There's a chance she might reach out since she was so attracted before. ; 6 How do you chat with a girl without being boring? I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth. Yes, she wants you to challenge her. I am that girl. Sure, you want her but don't need her. Take the time to think back to when and why you haven't been supportive of her and when you may have been difficult. The more you move according to her wishes the sooner she will come back to you. Use this as an opportunity to get curious about yourself. Don't text her. She took a break so you need to as well. 3. Even if someone has depression, they need to know how it affects others especially a dear loved one. #5. Show her that you love her. Sure, you want her but don't need her. 2. Its been 2weeks now that i have given her space and tried to apply Nc but . The point I'm making, is that you can't go into his head and 'guess' what's going on.